The Bible has much to say concerning the dangers of improper family relationships. “There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother” (Proverbs 30:11). “The son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother” (Micah 7:6), “the eye . . . mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother” (Proverbs 30:17). Yet, the first commandment with promise was to “honour thy father and mother” (Ephesians 6:1-2). This honour can be demonstrated by hearkening to (Proverbs 23:22) and obeying one’s parents (Colossians 3:20). As parents seek the Lord’s direction, God will lead them as to how to lead their individual homes (Ezra 8:21). The child’s responsibility is directed toward submitting to and learning of the Lord by obeying the parents.
NOW is the ideal time to love and serve the Lord. Some unwise counsel has suggested that young people should go out and experience the world in their youth before they later settle down and serve God once mature. An equally erroneous teaching proclaims that godly parents should raise their children to love and serve the Master at some future time. Both have misled far too many homes! The Lord wants young people to love and serve Him now. One should begin early in life to learn the most important lessons of life. As a child, one should learn “the fear of the LORD” (Psalm 34:11), to “praise the name of the LORD” (Psalm 148:12-13; Matthew 21:15), and to “remember” his Creator (Ecclesiastes 12:1). Like Samuel, children should grow and be “in favour both with the LORD, and also with men” (1 Samuel 2:26).
The Lord Jesus is the King of kings, the Lord of lords, and the Creator of the universe. Yet, during His earthly ministry, the Lord made it known that He cared for the “little ones” (Matthew 18:6, 10, 14). Perhaps the disciples thought the Master would be too busy or have more important things to do than to take time for the children. The Lord rebuked His disciples for such erroneous thinking. After all, the Lord loved children and wanted them to come to Him. It grieved Him to think that His disciples would forbid any child from coming to Him. Even now, the Lord wants little children to come to Him. No disciple should ever forbid children to come to the Lord. Even with all of life’s distractions, the Bible admonishes young people to remember their Creator in the days of their youth (Ecclesiastes 12:1).
With all the difficult challenges that a woman faces within the home, it should not be surprising that the Lord repeatedly gave warnings against a woman with a contentious spirit. How does the downward spiral begin? She may spend her life serving others with little to no thanks. She may honour and submit to a husband who deserves little honour or authority. If she does not continually walk with the Lord, she can become disillusioned with the Lord and with her duties as a mother and wife. She might begin to be contentious (Proverbs 21:9; Proverbs 25:24; Proverbs 27:15) causing greater problems in the home, perhaps to the point of causing those she loves to become bitter against her (Colossians 3:19).
The Lord gave specific commandments to both the husband and the wife. The Lord, knowing that man’s foremost love was, by nature, himself, commanded the man to “love” his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Additionally, the Lord, knowing that a woman would not naturally desire to submit, commanded the wife to submit to her own husband, as unto the Lord. This does not suggest that she only goes along with her husband so long as she agrees with his decisions, neither does it mean that she can never offer input into the decision-making process. But, in the end, she follows her husband’s leading, trusting the Lord to bless her faithfulness.
The Bible shows us that even heathen kings know it is proper for a woman to honour her husband. Some might suggest that because these words were spoken by a heathen, the reader should discount them, but these truths are supported elsewhere in scripture. For instance, Ephesians 5:33 says that the wife is to reverence her husband. Sara honoured Abraham, even to the point of calling him lord (1 Peter 3:6). Even Abigail, who had a husband that was a man of Belial, honoured her husband when she kept David from ending Nabal’s life (1 Samuel 25:23-33). A woman who honours her husband honours the Lord. She does so because the Lord commands it, not because her husband necessarily deserves her honour.
Godly ladies are known for the love they express toward others. Isaiah 49:15 might be used to argue otherwise, but the Lord references a mother’s love to depict the peak of earthly love. This passage simply points out that the mother’s love only fails to reach the pinnacle when compared to God’s own love toward His creation. God made a woman’s heart tender, but sin can harden this tender heart. For this reason, the older women within the New Testament church are instructed to nurture this particular trait within the younger women by teaching them how to love their husbands and their children (Titus 2:4). When things are spiritually right, the godly woman makes it her priority to care for those whom God has given her, and she does so in love. Examples of this love permeate the pages of scripture.
A good wife and mother will exemplify a type of selflessness like no one else upon the earth. Proverbs offers a wonderful examination into her life and ways. Her life is one of sacrifice, often putting the needs and wants of her household ahead of her own. She labours to take care of her family (Proverbs 31:16-19). She looks well to the ways of her household while enjoying little to no idle time (Proverbs 31:27). Yet at day’s end, she rises up to give meat to her household (Proverbs 31:15). All the while, she can open her mouth with wisdom with the law of kindness in her tongue (Proverbs 31:26). The Bible points to her only reward as the praise of her husband and children (Proverbs 31:28). This reward may seem insignificant to the world, but to her the love of her family is both sufficient and worth the effort.
A normal man naturally desires to protect what God has given to him. Jacob was not always the best example of godliness, but he had the right desire to protect his family from harm. The Bible reveals to us how he reacted when he could see his brother Esau approaching. Unsure of how this reunion might disintegrate into harm, Jacob divided his family with the most precious at the rear. As his family’s protector, Jacob led the caravan. If there was going to be trouble, he would have an opportunity to intervene offering his family an opportunity to flee for safety. According to Ephesians 5:25, a man’s protection should include a willingness to lay down his life for his wife. A godly man will always intercede between his home and the impending danger.
The Bible explicitly emphasizes the spiritual responsibility of providing for one’s family. Sometimes believers wrongfully distinguish between the ministry work and any so-called secular work, but both are accomplished scripturally and prayerfully to please the Lord. 1 Timothy 5:8, in the direct context, deals with the responsibilities of providing for a household member who is a widow; yet, the emphasis upon “those of his own house” broadens the scope. A man who fails or refuses to provide for the needs of his family has “denied the faith” and said to be “worse than an infidel.” That is certainly a stiff and stern rebuke. It remains the man’s responsibility to provide for his family regardless of how far societal norms move away from God’s precepts. This does not mean that the woman cannot assist in the provision (Proverbs 31:13-16) but that the responsibility still belongs to the man.
