The Bible says that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matthew 12:34). This means that the words proceeding out of our mouths originate in our hearts. When we speak bitter words, it is because there is bitterness within our hearts. David likened bitter words to arrows that pierce the flesh (Psalm 64:3). Our words ought to be “seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6); instead, we often allow our words to pierce through others. We tear people down rather than building them up. Why is this? Because we have a root of bitterness growing inside that finds its way from our hearts into and out of our mouths. Those who demean others generally do so because they are bitter. Attempts to justify this behaviour are fruitless because the Lord knows the root of the problem stems from our heart.
The believer is to allow no place for bitterness within his life. The book of Ephesians directly associates bitterness with the sins of wrath, anger, clamour, evil speaking, and malice. Each of these sins grieves the Spirit of God and ought to grieve the believer. As such, Christians are admonished to put away all bitterness. As bitterness shows itself in the depths of our hearts, we ought to immediately seek the Lord and plead for His help in removing it by its root. In a similar passage (Colossians 3:8), we are admonished to “put off” many of these other sins mentioned. Always keep in mind that bitterness does not edify the believer or those around him, nor does it glorify the Lord. Simply choose to obey God by putting away and putting off bitterness.
The Bible repeatedly mentions the bitterness of soul (1 Samuel 1:10; Job 3:20; Job 7:11; Job 10:1; Job 21:25; Isaiah 38:15). Job testified to speaking in the bitterness of his soul—weary of his life (Job 10:1). Hannah “was in bitterness of soul” (1 Samuel 1:10) when she spoke to the Lord concerning her desire to birth a son. Interestingly, the Book of Job contains the majority of references to bitterness of soul. It is hard to imagine any mortal man enduring more afflictions of the soul than Job. He was afflicted so deeply, he cursed the day that he was born (Job 3:1). Eventually, his bitterness of soul won out and caused him to sin against the Lord. Hannah, however, spoke to the Lord in bitterness of soul and God rewarded her for her faithfulness.
Bitterness grows from within man much like the root of a plant. If left alone to fester, bitterness will eventually spring up; and when it does, it will “trouble you.” Unfortunately, bitterness is not frequently identified during its infancy. It hides inside the individual with little evidence of its existence. As time passes, our enemies (the world, the flesh, and the devil) feed that bitterness and it begins to spring forth. As it does, it may begin to alarm or even shock us. For instance, we may yell at someone for no apparent reason. Something insignificant can even ruin our entire day. If we are not careful, we can grow increasingly comfortable with our newfound trouble and attitude. As alluded to in the scripture, the solution for bitterness can be likened to the removal of a plant by its roots. Bitterness continues to grow unless removed at its source – from the roots.
A good Bible student often incorporates many of the same tactics as a good detective. Defining Bible words involves such a task. No single verse specifically defines the word bitterness. Yet, a careful study of a few verses will help to bring the pieces together and to provide understanding. According to Isaiah, bitterness and peace are at opposite ends of the emotional spectrum (Isaiah 38:17). Proverbs associates the word bitter directly to the word sharp (Proverbs 5:4). And, lastly, the word bitter is connected to the word affliction (2 Kings 14:26, Lamentations 1:4). Using these scriptural clues, a good student will understand bitterness to be a sharp affliction. Additionally, consider the connection between the words bitter and bite, making bitterness a sharp affliction with bite. Bitterness always begins on the inside of an individual and, as we will learn, eventually works its way to the outside for others to see.
Even since the Garden in Eden, God never intended for man to consider Him to be distant or unapproachable. In fact, the Bible repeatedly points out the opposite scenario. God's word proclaims that the Lord did not merely claim His followers as servants, but referred to them as His friends! He specifically referred to Abraham as the "friend of God" (2 Chronicles 20:7; James 2:23). He spoke to Moses “face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend” (Exodus 33:11). These are not the actions of a God who desires separation from His creation. Though this intimate association with God seems remote and only expressed on a few occasions, John points out that we too can be God's friends (if we obey Him). This friendship must be based on mutual grounds because those who love the Lord are never lovers of the world. James 4:4 points out that “friendship of the world is enmity with God.” Though it appears that few people were called the friend of God, John chapter 15 suggests that this honour is much more prevalent than would appear. Christ told His followers, “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you” (John 15:14). Furthermore, Christ laid down His life for His friends (John 15:13).
The Lord healed many people during His earthly ministry. Today's passage speaks of a particular man who had been delivered from devil possession. What a relief he must have experienced! However, the people in his community did not rejoice that the Lord had performed such a wonderful miracle. In fact, they turned against the Saviour and wanted Him to depart from their coasts. The Lord complied with their demands; however, the man delivered of the devils wanted to travel with the Lord. He loved the Lord so much that he wanted to stay close to Him. However, as the healed man sought to enter the ship, Christ told him to return to his home and tell his friends what had happened to him. The Lord knew that this man was in the best position to reach out to his friends with the truth. He knew this man's testimony concerning the truth was what they needed to hear and believe. Christians should always be prepared and ready for times when opportunities arise to tell their friends about the truth. Acts chapter 10 records another example when Cornelius called his friends together expecting to hear Simon Peter preach the truth of the gospel. Real friends insure that their friends are put into a position to hear the truth and never squander spiritual opportunities.
Friendships generally develop around some type of common ground or linked association. These activities can be either good or bad, righteous or wicked. Pilate and Herod are prime examples of the wrong kind of relationship nurtured through a sinful association. Before they joined forces against the Son of God, they “were at enmity between themselves.” The word enmity reveals that they not only were not friends, but actually disdained each other to the point of being enemies. Nothing could repair this breach until they joined together in the trial of the Saviour. Standing together against Jesus Christ repaired this relationship and created an unholy association. On that day, they found common ground by uniting together in mockery of the Son of God. The Bible speaks of a future time when, “The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD” (Psalm 2:2). Earthly kings rarely get along unless they find a common interest or benefit. Far too often, these rulers find themselves in an unholy alliance rather than a holy one.
Good friends are a tremendous blessing to be nurtured and treasured. Yet, friendships are to have certain God-ordained limitations. The wrong kinds of friends and inappropriate associations have led many people away from the truth and astray from God. The Bible provides detailed instructions to help people avoid any relationship that tends to lead to rebellion against God. Although these instructions were explicitly given while Israel remained under the Law of God, they forever reveal God's feelings toward those who would lead someone away from Him. Just as it was instructed of the Israelites, men today should never consent nor hearken to those who seek to lure them astray (Deuteronomy 13:8). In refusing to listen to those individuals, a believer should never feel guilt or pity the so-called friend, but rather find joy from making the right decision.
Few men, if any, have been afflicted like Job. His troubles involved the catastrophic loss of family members as well as physical ailments beyond most people's ability to endure. During the depths of these difficult trials, Job's three “friends” (Job 2:11) visited him. They showed up to comfort him but instead turned out to be additional sources of grief. Each word spoken by his friends seemed to compound his already miserable condition and circumstances. Job did not consider this to be the work of a friend and told them that, “To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend.” Later in the same chapter, Job said that his friends dug a pit for him (Job 6:27). Job’s friends should have shown him pity during his troublesome times instead of scorning (Job 16:20) and abhorring him (Job 19:19). True friends know how to comfort and console their friends as they experience trouble and pain in life. They certainly do not unrighteously judge and condemn.
