The apostle Paul was a man who believed his actions were simply the wishes and desires of God. This was until the Lord met him on the road to Damascus. Paul’s warfare with the Lord was likened to Paul kicking against pricks. Though Paul thought he was doing the right thing, he was, in reality, hurting himself by putting himself at odds with the Lord. Some men in Paul’s position would testify to the Lord concerning their own good when directly confronted by the Lord. Paul, however, responded by submitting himself to the Lord’s conviction and seeking out the necessary means for proper restitution. He did not accuse the Lord or justify himself. Instead, the apostle asked the question, “Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?”
Most men’s attention focuses upon the outward appearance of conviction. Yet, the Bible is clear that conviction’s initial work does not exhibit itself outwardly. According to Psalm 73:21, Asaph was grieved in his heart and pricked in his reins. No doubt, this work eventually manifested itself outwardly. Yet, conviction began in the heart where only God and the troubled individual could be aware of its work. Unfortunately, men have focused so much attention upon the outward signs of conviction that they fail to recognize the inner working of conviction. Because of this misplaced emphasis, Christianity continues to produce temporary, carnal, and fake conviction, ultimately producing another hypocrite. If the work does not originate within the heart, it is not of God and it is not conviction.
Once Judas Iscariot determined to betray the Lord, the earthly ministry of Christ hastened toward the time of His crucifixion. As the time of His death drew near, the Lord Jesus took the disciples to Gethsemane so that He could spend time praying. He asked them to watch while He went to the Father in prayer; however, when the Lord returned from prayer, He found the disciples asleep. He woke them and rebuked Peter saying, “What, could ye not watch with me one hour?” What a horrible rebuke as Peter, along with the others, realized that he had failed this one simple request! After everything that the Lord had done for the disciples, they could not force themselves to watch for one hour. In like manner, many believers are going to find out the consequences at the judgment seat of Christ of failing to watch for the Lord.
