The Bible has much to say about the tongue or the words man speaks. The tongue of man is a deadly weapon (James 3:5-8). As such, the scripture likens it to a bow that is bent; only the arrows are the expressed lies (Jeremiah 9:3). A similar thought is found in Psalm 64:3 where David said of the wicked that they “whet their tongue like a sword, and bend their bows to shoot their arrows, even bitter words.” Unfortunately, even Christians sometimes make light of how deadly words can be. The old saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” may sound quaint; but it is far from the truth. Words do cause wounds. The Bible likens lies to arrows that are shot out of a bow. Relating the lies to the arrows is certainly meant to convey the pain caused by the lying. Lies often do bring hurt; sometimes not physically, but in some form or another lies wound others.
People love comparing themselves to those whom they deem less righteous or unspiritual. By finding someone living on a spiritually lower level, any wrong doing can seem quite justified in one’s own eyes. Another way to get by with certain character flaws is by distinguishing between what men call big and little sins. As long as someone refuses to commit the big sins, he considers himself decent, upright, and sometimes spiritually superior. One of the most prevalent areas is that of telling lies. Those who err in this area equate some lies as “white lies” (lies deemed less harmful than the big ones). Yet, the Bible doesn’t make any such distinction. According to the Bible, truth and lies are at opposite ends of the spectrum.“No lie is of the truth” (1 John 2:21). Truth tainted by error or falsehood ceases to be truth. Regardless of how simple a lie may appear, no lie has as its source pure truth. If truth was the basis for a statement, then it would remain truth.
According to the Bible, before a man trusts Christ as Saviour, he remains the enemy of God (Romans 5:10; Colossians 1:21). But God, in His great mercy, saves His enemies as they individually choose to trust in Christ’s payment for their sins. Though a Christian has the indwelling Spirit, he never fully comprehends all that the Lord has done for him through salvation. This is why the Bible says that God’s love passes all knowledge (Ephesians 3:19). However, the more a man draws nigh to God, the more he learns about the kindness God has shown him through Jesus Christ. No matter how we learn in this life, eternity will continue to reveal to the saints the depths of the kindness of God. No wonder the greatness and marvellous nature of His love is truly beyond comprehension.
Charity is certainly love, but not merely what we would consider a standard type of love and certainly not like today’s usage or definition. Charity is a deeper, fuller, and stronger type of love. In fact, charity remains at the peak of Christianity (1 Corinthians 13:13; 2 Peter 1:7) and is to be sought above all else (Colossians 3:14). With this in mind, a man would be wise to study the subject of charity in the Bible. After careful consideration, if he finds himself not behaving charitably, he should adjust his actions. The Bible also says that charity suffers long and envies not (1 Corinthians 13:4). It rejoices not in iniquity, but in truth (1 Corinthians 13:6). Additionally, charity is kind (1 Corinthians 13:4). This shows that those behaving charitably treat others like members of their family. Those displaying charity will care for others in the good times as well as the bad. They will rejoice when there is truth, but never in iniquity.
Proverbs 31 reveals the attributes of a virtuous woman (Proverbs 31:10). Though a virtuous woman possesses many wonderful traits, perhaps her greatest strength lies in the manner in which she speaks—with wisdom. This God-given wisdom enables her to refrain her lips from foolishness, instead choosing to edify others with her speech. Many people offer others advice and even wisdom, but this woman is said to speak with the “law of kindness” in her tongue. Not only does she speak wisely, but she presents this wisdom with the right spirit--the spirit of kindness. Apparently, when she speaks wisely, her words encourage others to listen and heed what she says. Her hearers want to receive her words and put them into practice. Why? Because she presents her words with this “law of kindness” much like those today who are “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).
Most sincere people, seeking opportunities to show kindness toward others, will generally have more opportunities than means. In fact, some instances will arise when helping others remains practically impossible. This is especially true when a financial need arises beyond the person's capacity to help. Does this mean kindness does not exist or that the individual lacks genuineness? No! Today's passage teaches a profound principle, “the desire of a man is his kindness.” Kindness is exemplified where there is a present desire to be kind toward others even though the individual may be without means to fulfil his desire to help. The passage ends by stating that “a poor man is better than a liar.” A man who desires to help but cannot do so is better than those who lie or deceive others about their true heart's intent to show kindness. Thankfully, God does not simply look at the outward act but can always see the heart's true desire, purpose, and motive!
Far too many of today's pundits sanction giving others whatever they want in an attempt to display true love. Parents have become increasingly trapped in this dilemma being convinced that they fail their children unless they give them every new gadget. The husbands thought to love the most are the ones who shower their wives with the most, the best, and do so frequently. The average person may find these scenarios reasonable, but they remain completely contrary to the word of God. In fact, the Bible expresses just the opposite. Today's passage reveals that a righteous man could actually smite someone with his words in kindness. A righteous man will always offer a rebuke (or correction) to those heading in the wrong direction. The intention of such a rebuke is to set the person back on the right track; true biblical kindness at work. Proverbs extols the virtues of those wounds gained when offered in the spirit of kindness and friendship (Proverbs 27:6). Kindness is never demonstrated by simply telling others what they want to hear but often confirmed through open rebuke (Proverbs 27:5).
Many people have so-called friends, but oftentimes these friendships are built upon weak support structures. Yet, testing the true depths of one's friendships can be quite challenging. The previous lesson pointed to the ease of making friends by showing yourself friendly. Yet, too many people focus on using material means to gain friendships. Money can buy friends but there remains that doubt concerning the true foundation of those relationships. The Bible teaches that “wealth maketh many friends” (Proverbs 19:4). This truth is further emphasized in Proverbs 14:20 where the Bible says, “the rich hath many friends.” This fact remains ever more prevalent as the days go on. Those who are rich will have many “friends,” while those who are poor have far fewer close associations. Unfortunately, “Every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts” (Proverbs 19:6). As long as there is money or gifts to be given, people will have “friends”; but as soon as the money runs out, the “friends” will be gone too. True friendships, however, may be gained by showing yourself friendly and will be cultivated through righteousness.
Very few people understand the simplicity involved in cultivating true friendships. In fact, far too many people emphasize the wrong factors when considering how to make friends. They look at one's appearance or charisma and attribute it as the key to making friends. Yet, the Bible points out a simple process as the key for gaining true friends. The one who makes friends simply must first “shew himself friendly.” Unapproachable people remain lonely and tend to miss out on much of what life has to offer. Those who struggle making friends should examine themselves to see whether or not they truly display themselves as friendly or more standoffish. People generally refuse to put forth the extra effort to get to know those who come across unwelcoming. People want to make friends with those who are approachable and there is no better way to make yourself approachable than to show yourself friendly. If a man does not appear to be friendly, others will pass him in their quest to cultivate lasting relationships.
Unfortunately, true lasting friendships seem increasingly difficult to cultivate and nurture in today's fast paced world. Yet, the interactions associated to true friendships remain important and healthy. There are many traits that define true friendships. Today's passage points out one of the primary features that constitute a true friend: “A friend loveth at all times.” This love is not to be confused with being dishonest in hopes of protecting the feelings of a friend. In fact, a true friend will offer a needed rebuke. This is why the Bible says, “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). True friends never allow current circumstances to determine the level of commitment to a relationship. A true friend will remain faithful when all others have betrayed or departed. This test of friendship has been the proving ground for many friends throughout the history of mankind. One need look no further than the prodigal son for evidence of such (Luke 15:11-24).
