The world justifies an almost unlimited range of reasons for divorce, but the Lord is much more narrow-minded. In fact, the Lord only offered one just cause for divorce in Matthew 19:9. An excellent cross reference (Deuteronomy 24:1) indicates that the fornication mentioned involves an uncleanness found within the woman that took place prior to marriage. If this be true, even adultery fails to qualify as scriptural grounds for divorce. One might argue that the Lord broadened this scope when speaking of the unbelieving spouse leaving the believer, but even there the Lord said to the believing husband, “let him not put her away” (1 Corinthians 7:12) and to the believing wife, “let her not leave him” (1 Corinthians 7:13).
Marriage involves a relationship between a man and a woman, but what constitutes a scriptural marriage? Scripturally speaking, it is not merely “flesh joining flesh.” This is plain in that a man could marry a wife only to find that she had been unfaithful with another man to whom she was not married (Deuteronomy 24:1; Matthew 5:32). It is also clear that Shechem defiled Dinah, but then asked if she could become his wife (Genesis 34:1-4). The woman at the well had an improper relationship with a man, but the Lord declared that that particular man was not her husband (John 4:16-18). Instead, marriage occurs when God joins a man and a woman (Genesis 2:21-24; Mark 10:9), and it is often established by a ceremony with vows given to each other (Matthew 22:1-13; John 2:1-2).
Scripture plainly reveals that God repeatedly calls for His people to separate from the world. This separation extends to every aspect of life, especially including the marriage bond. Why? Because God knows the very real danger that unbelievers pose to believers by drawing them away from Him (Deuteronomy 7:3-4; Judges 3:6-7; 1 Kings 11:2). This is why God specifically instructed His people in both the Old and New Testament to marry among themselves (Jew with Jew and Christian with Christian). The nation of Israel was forbidden to yoke up with the surrounding nations because Israel would adopt heathen practices and the worship of false gods (Exodus 34:15-16). Though God’s commands for the New Testament believer are often different from His plan for the Jew, in this aspect they remain constant and unchangeable.
The godly choice of whom to marry likely will never again be as obvious as it was for Adam and Eve. Yet, the wrong choice can and will usually bring disastrous outcomes along with lifelong consequences. Wise counsel to avoid pitfalls related to bad choices is vitally important! Samson’s choice was ultimately of the Lord, but not because it was wise. His parents knew that his decision was fleshly and attempted to redirect him. Esau rebelliously sought a wife that would never meet his parents’ approval (Genesis 28:6-9). Throughout the Old Testament, parents were involved in the process of choosing the right spouse for their children. It may not be a direct command from God, but it remains a wise principle to follow. Parents are not always right, but the Lord is pleased to use them in this decision-making process.
God made man with the natural desire for companionship. Similar to all of God’s other creation; the world, the flesh, and the Devil have corrupted the method by which this desire is consummated. God created Adam as a single man. As time elapsed, it became obvious that Adam did not need to be alone but needed a wife. Although the details do vary from situation to situation, the principles of God’s provisions for companionship for Adam provide superior guidelines for someone seeking the same relationship today. Adam found a wife when the Lord brought Eve to him and not the other way around. Adam too did not go searching for a wife, but God brought her to him. Though times have changed, God can and will do the same today for those who faithfully love and serve Him.
