In John’s epistle to the elect lady and her children (2 John 1), he encouraged them to look to themselves so that he, and those with him, might not lose those things which they had wrought. In order for John to receive a full reward, those to whom he had ministered must take heed to their own service and their walk before the Lord. This line of thinking seems to be less emphasized today in many Bible-believing groups. However, it is a truth set forth by the scriptures. Paul reiterated this truth in Galatians 4:11 when he said, “I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.” In 1 Thessalonians 2:19, he declared that God’s people were his hope, joy, and crown of rejoicing. You might say that Paul concluded the matter when he asked, “are not ye my work in the Lord?” (1 Corinthians 9:1).
Self-examination serves as a tool for man to use to find out who and what he is. Though some preachers suggest that believers should never question their own salvation experience, the scripture encourages self-examination. If there are doubts, believers should certainly ask questions concerning the basis for their salvation. Was it based upon one’s feelings or solely upon the scriptures? They should ask what they did in order to be saved. Did they join a church, do some penitent work, or did they call upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ by faith as dictated by the scriptures? They should ask about the effects of their salvation. Have they seen a change of heart, or are they the same that they were before trusting Christ as Saviour?
Many people have so-called friends, but oftentimes these friendships are built upon weak support structures. Yet, testing the true depths of one's friendships can be quite challenging. The previous lesson pointed to the ease of making friends by showing yourself friendly. Yet, too many people focus on using material means to gain friendships. Money can buy friends but there remains that doubt concerning the true foundation of those relationships. The Bible teaches that “wealth maketh many friends” (Proverbs 19:4). This truth is further emphasized in Proverbs 14:20 where the Bible says, “the rich hath many friends.” This fact remains ever more prevalent as the days go on. Those who are rich will have many “friends,” while those who are poor have far fewer close associations. Unfortunately, “Every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts” (Proverbs 19:6). As long as there is money or gifts to be given, people will have “friends”; but as soon as the money runs out, the “friends” will be gone too. True friendships, however, may be gained by showing yourself friendly and will be cultivated through righteousness.
Very few people understand the simplicity involved in cultivating true friendships. In fact, far too many people emphasize the wrong factors when considering how to make friends. They look at one's appearance or charisma and attribute it as the key to making friends. Yet, the Bible points out a simple process as the key for gaining true friends. The one who makes friends simply must first “shew himself friendly.” Unapproachable people remain lonely and tend to miss out on much of what life has to offer. Those who struggle making friends should examine themselves to see whether or not they truly display themselves as friendly or more standoffish. People generally refuse to put forth the extra effort to get to know those who come across unwelcoming. People want to make friends with those who are approachable and there is no better way to make yourself approachable than to show yourself friendly. If a man does not appear to be friendly, others will pass him in their quest to cultivate lasting relationships.
Unfortunately, true lasting friendships seem increasingly difficult to cultivate and nurture in today's fast paced world. Yet, the interactions associated to true friendships remain important and healthy. There are many traits that define true friendships. Today's passage points out one of the primary features that constitute a true friend: “A friend loveth at all times.” This love is not to be confused with being dishonest in hopes of protecting the feelings of a friend. In fact, a true friend will offer a needed rebuke. This is why the Bible says, “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). True friends never allow current circumstances to determine the level of commitment to a relationship. A true friend will remain faithful when all others have betrayed or departed. This test of friendship has been the proving ground for many friends throughout the history of mankind. One need look no further than the prodigal son for evidence of such (Luke 15:11-24).
Some people seem unable to function without daily interaction with friends. Yet, others think such attachments overbearing and far too demanding. Unfortunately, the world frequently misconstrues what constitutes true friendship. Additionally, far too many times, friends abuse this important relationship. Social media sites even refer to one's mere acquaintances as “friends.” No wonder the world remains so confused concerning the essence of true biblical friendship. Regardless of one’s perspective on these matters, the Bible points out that there is One friend that man cannot do without and He is “a friend that sticketh closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). This could simply refer to people who have friends more loyal than those in one's own family, but likely references the Lord. His level of commitment causes Him to be a friend to those deemed unlovable by the world. Simply consider what the Bible says about His sacrifice. Christ died on the cross for His enemies (Romans 5:10) so that they could become His friends (John 15:13-15). Truly, He is that “friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
