In a day when the world uses the word love rather flippantly, the people of God need to revisit the concept of biblical love. The Bible says, “A friend loveth at all times.” This infers that the concept of falling in and out of love is unscriptural. Biblically defined love is not a fleeting emotion controlled by one’s feelings. It remains a choice based on the truths of scripture and falls outside the whims of one's emotional passions. The world declares its love for something and in the same breath declares its love lost for the latest passing fad. Just as God’s love for us remains permanent, so ought our love for others. Unfortunately, this fickleness has crept into the lives of the believers. We could learn much by considering the example of the Lord’s love for His enemies even after they had so cruelly nailed Him to the tree (Luke 23:34). Biblical love forgives and continues to unconditionally forgive regardless of any objectionable response to one’s love (Proverbs 10:12).
Worldly misconceptions have caused many believers to struggle with the biblical concept of love. Love can originate from what is generally considered a negative expression. Our passage shows that the Lord corrects those whom He loves. Love does not express itself for the satisfaction of the one who loves, but for the benefit of the one that is the object of one’s love. When we think of how to express our love for someone, a hug or kind words generally come to mind. These expressions are often used to send a message of love; however, the Bible presents additional insights often not directly associated to loving someone. This is why the Bible points out that chastening can be used to express love toward the recipient. Furthermore, Proverbs 13:24 shows that a father who loves his son chastens that son because of his love for that child. We are led to believe that expressing love for others is best expressed by bailing them out every time they are in trouble. Yet, the Lord declares that love does what is best for the recipients of that love, even if that includes correction.
It is difficult for new and sometimes older Christians to fully comprehend sin's effects. From God’s perspective, every facet of sin involves a vile act. However, from man’s viewpoint, though sin can be extremely harmful, the temporary pleasures (Hebrews 11:25) distract from sin's injurious nature. For instance, Proverbs 6:24 warns about the “evil woman.” We might think this to mean that we should stay away from women who say bad things, yet the evil woman does not always speak negatively. In fact, this woman is said to speak with flattery; she says nice things but with impure motives. This warning is so important that it was given on multiple occasions (Proverbs 2:16; Proverbs 6:24; Proverbs 7:5, 21). The warning here is given specifically about a strange woman (a woman other than the man’s wife), but it applies to men and women alike. We ought to always be on guard about those who flatter us with their words.
Nobody likes to spend time around those who act in a rude or insulting manner. Most people would rather spend people-time with those who focus on saying nice things. However, the truth is that one is just as spiritually dangerous to one's well-being as the other. This is why the Bible warns us to “meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.” Flattery is directly connected to deceit and covetousness; therefore, God intends for His warning to help Christians avoid people who say nice things deceitfully. These people intend to take advantage of their target. Far too many people have been mistreated and lied to by others whom they thought to be dear friends. It is best to avoid those with flattering lips.
Today's passage proves the Bible truth that our thoughts are not God’s thoughts, neither our ways His ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). God's thoughts are always unimaginably loftier than ours. Unlike God, our thoughts are bound by our limited knowledge. Contrary to the Lord’s, our knowledge is easily corrupted through various influences. This is why scripture reading and preaching often conflicts with our natural thought process. For instance, our natural mind considers rebuke something harmful, negatively affecting the person receiving it. We also naturally consider flattery as something beneficial and uplifting to the recipient. Yet, we have already seen how flattery can be harmful, but have you ever considered the superiority of a rebuke? The Bible says rebuke is better because of what it yields “afterwards.” In the long run, rebuke is far superior to flattery.
Biblical terminology is very important. For example, ignorance of Bible vocabulary has led people to believe that flattery is considerate if it makes others feel good. Yet, the picture presented by scripture is contrary to this line of thinking. Flattery harms both the giver and the recipient. According to scripture, “A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin” (Proverbs 26:28). While we have been led to believe flattery edifies, in reality, it destroys. This truth is confirmed in Proverbs 29:5 where the Bible says, “A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.” Even the flatterer is harmed by his flattery: “He that speaketh flattery to his friends, even the eyes of his children shall fail” (Job 17:5). Without a doubt, flattery harms all those involved.
